Tammy was in the mood for some nature-filled fun, so she planned a family picnic at Hillsborough State Park last Sunday. My mom enjoyed the park as a kid and we enjoyed it throughout our childhood. From the park’s website:

"The natural scenic beauty of the park is astounding and many trails offer the visitor the opportunity to experience this first hand. A popular trail is the Rapids Nature Trail. It meanders through oak hammocks to the edge of the Hillsborough River at the point where an outcropping of limestone rocks has created rapids. This area is a popular spot for photographers and outdoor enthusiasts. For enjoying the river by being on it, the park has canoe rentals for visitor’s convenience."

The park is all that and more. It is nostalgia for us. I remember as a teenager renting a canoe and losing it in the water when along comes a good Samaritan to retrieve it for us. He simply dove into the Hillsborough River and pulled out the canoe for us. We would tell our kids that our when the canoe capsized (which had a lot to do with spiders and alligators and panic) that our thongs lazily floated down the river. They always thought we were talking about bathing suit thongs when we were merely talking about our flip-flop thongs. HA!

Anyway, the idea is for everyone in the family to bring a dish, so as usual, I go overboard. I’m gonna make all kinds of 100 calorie dishes (I’ll have recipes for you on Monday). In my little family, Marina decides to make a Broccoli Cheese Rice dish and Potato Salad, Michael decides to make Brownies and Roy gets roped into Fire-Grilled Hot Wings and Irish Stew. I, in my infinite wisdom, decide to make pumpkin pies, pecan pies, my famous punch AND to my ultimate detriment, an assortment of finger sandwiches. Oh no, not just any finger sandwiches, mine have got to be the most interesting, exciting and delicious finger sandwiches in the whole wide world!

So, it’s Saturday morning, the day before the picnic and I am hearing no plans from my little sweet peas as to when, how and where they’re going to start cooking. I decide to shop early to get the ingredients for Marina and Michael, and after work I’ll get my stuff. Roy is with his Aunt Tammy, so I let him be on his own. It’s going good, Marina and Michael make their dishes on Saturday while I am at work. So far, so good. And then there is a Godsend! Shyrene, my niece, and Roy call me to say they’ll shop for my ingredients! They really didn’t know what they were getting themselves in for, but I was so happy for the help.

Gosh, I needed everything from eggs and tuna to olives, ham and genoa salami. I had decided to make the coolest finger/tea sandwiches like cucumber sandwiches, egg salad, tuna, reubens, muffalotta, Cubans, ham and cheese, roast beef, turkey AND as a bonus, peanut butter and jelly. Oh, I needed rye bread, sour dough bread, Italian bread, Cuban bread, wheat bread and Hawaiian bread. And then maybe pumpernickel and plain white bread. I was unknowingly setting myself up for trouble!

I get home on Saturday night thinking everything was under control. I make the pumpkin pies and head off to bed.  I wake up early the day of the picnic and start the pecan pie. About 6:30 AM I decide I need more bread and a couple of mixing bowls and some capers, so I head off to the Wal-Mart. I’m home by 7, and begin mixing my delicious sandwich fillings. I’m supposed to be in Thonotosassa about noon to pick up my mom and meet the family at the park. Okay, if I leave at 10:00 AM, I’ll be fine.

 I begin with my cucumber sandwiches, which is an absolutely delicious recipe, but more time consuming than I had anticipated. It involves peeling, deseeding and grating. Okay, done. Then comes the tuna salad, egg salad and olive spread for the muffalatas. Before I turn around, it’s 9:00 AM! I still have to cut cucumbers, onions, tomatoes and pickles. Round about this time, Marina and Michael decide to get out of bed and make their appearance in the kitchen, sleepy-eyed and lethargic. Oh happy day, I think to myself! I’ve just been given two Sous Chefs! "Wake up and get to helping!" I enthusiastically shout. I get Marina to chopping vegetables and set up our sandwich assembly line. I direct Michael to put the clothes we want to wear in the washing machine, and it’s on. NOW, it’s 9:30 and we don’t have one single finger sandwich assembled. We haven’t eaten and we haven’t showered. I haven’t even started the punch and Marina still wants to make her delicious sweet tea.

Imagine, loaves of bread, softened butter, meats, cheeses, cut vegetables and sandwich spreads all over the kitchen while we frantically assemble tuna salad sandwiches, egg salad sandwiches, classic Cuban sandwiches, reuben sandwiches, muffalatos, ham and cheese sandwiches, roast beef sandwiches and turkey sandwiches. Marina is the artistic one, so she is responsible for cutting the sandwiches and she yells for Michael to find the cookie cutters. "Cookie cutters, Michael, find me the cookie cutters!" she screams. He finds them, but making the sandwiches cookie-cutter pretty is not an option at this point, it’s almost 10:30 AM! "Michael, bring us the sandwich trays!" I shout. "The sandwich trays Michael, the sandwich trays! The olive spread Michael, we need the olive spread!!!" Michael is out of his element and can’t really help us at all and we all get very frustrated with each other. But Marina and I work together and we make the absolute best finger sandwich tray that is available in the entire universe, really! In the meantime, Michael puts our clothes in the dryer and he decided to get away from it all and go take his shower. Smart!

It’s 11:00 AM and we haven’t even started the punch and iced tea. Marina and I scramble to make the drinks and I ask Michael to find the plastic cutlery I bought at the Wal-Mart. I run upstairs to take a shower and get dressed, as does Marina. I come downstairs to find Michael leisurely watching TV, he says he can’t find the cutlery. I look through every bag and can’t find it either. Oh well, Sara was supposed to bring that anyway, I was just going to be a back-up.

We get everything into the truck and are finally ready to leave when Marina goes to button her jeans and POP! The button on her jeans just flies off! It’s now 11:30 AM and we have a two hour drive to make in just 30 minutes. Not happening. As I wait in the truck for Marina to find something new to wear, the phone rings. It’s Mom. "How close are you?" she asks. "I’m still sitting in the driveway," I exasperatingly answer. Mom’s cool about it, but I am frustrated to say the least!

Well, Marina finds some new jeans to wear and we’re off to our picnic adventure. We fly around a corner heading to I-4 and the sandwich trays fly with us. Marina and I holler "Michael!" because he’s in the back seat with the prized sandwich trays. Michael is like "What?" and we explain to him that he is back there with the food and needs to be responsible for its safety. Mistake! We finally get on I-4 heading west toward Tampa. Then comes the calls from our fellow picnickers wondering where we are and when will we be at the park. I’m in no mood to talk to anyone "wondering" what we’ve been doing all morning so I have Marina answer the phone. I tell her to tell anybody who calls that Michael fell out of a tree, then bees attacked him and we went to the emergency room which was hit by a meteor and we spent the morning looking for band aids and Neosporin. That should shut them up! No one believed our story, so I put the pedal to the medal and rushed to pick up Mom. We decide to sing 70’s songs to lighten the mood and that works until we get off I-4 and the sandwich trays slide sideways again. "Michael!" Marina and I shout again, but Michael can’t figure out why it’s his fault or responsibility about the sandwiches. I pull the truck over and put to right all the food trays that have spilled over.

Lo and behold, we finally make it to pick up Mom. When we get her banana pudding, macaroni and cheese, jacket and blanket in the truck, there’s no room for Michael, so we have to put him in the back of the truck. By now, my nerves are frazzled and I tell Mom I gotta stop at the Winn-Dixie to get some pink champagne. When we get in the Winn-Dixie parking lot, Mom tells me I can’t get any champagne because alcohol is not allowed at the park. As you can imagine, this doesn’t set well with me because I am 46 years old and have never been told I couldn’t have champagne, it’s not really alcohol, is it? After a friendly discussion where I say I wouldn’t buy champagne now if my life depended on it, I run into the Winn-Dixie and buy two bottles.

On to the Hillsborough State Park which is about six miles away. Calls again wondering where we are which I have Marina answer. I told her to tell them we were at the spa getting a massage because we were so stressed about the Michael falling out of a tree debacle.

Finally, we see a sign saying Hillsborough State Park, 1000 feet ahead.

TO BE CONTINUED… Check back with me tomorrow for our Hillsborough State Park picnic adventures AND Recipes!

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